As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize