you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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