'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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