yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
