My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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