If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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