and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
