WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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