I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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