he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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