So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
