I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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