Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
