the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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