can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He passed out mid-signature
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
