You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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