i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
