Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
