hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
