Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
