We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
