Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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