i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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