Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
