guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
