he shaved USA in his pubs
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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