Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize