I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
