What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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