there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
