Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
