Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry about my life...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
