Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
