We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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