So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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