Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize