I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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