thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize