i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
