Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
