We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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