i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Panties = found
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize