Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
