I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
