It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
