Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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