U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
