she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
