just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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