chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
