and i looked up. we had an audience...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
