My sheets look like a crime scene.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
