dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
