Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
