We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
