I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
