her vagine was all disorganized.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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