And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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