No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
